Trying Too Hard??

 How trying to reach the top can sometimes do the opposite!

In this article

What is perfection?
How does a person ‘become’ perfect?
How does a person achieve ‘perfection’?

How many people each and every day who are trying to attain this level known perfection are actually grinding themselves into the ground? The search seems endless yet they still keep striving! But how many of these perfection seekers actually stop to ask themselves…

“What is perfection and why is important for me to reach that level?”

In this article, we will take a deeper look into the often self destructive cycle of perfection. 

Are you trying to reach perfection

When you are doing things in life (what ever they may be) do you find yourself continually trying to make them better or adding to them…to get them ‘perfect’?

Though no matter how good you get it, or how successful it is… you want to make it even better?

Does it always have to be the best and nothing less will do? If this is you, have you ever stopped to ask yourself…

Q: How much energy is this taking?

Q: What is I am REALLY trying to achieve?

Q: Who is it I am REALLY doing it for?

There is a huge difference between success and perfection

The inevitable truth of perfection

Assuming that you will feel happy when you ‘attain’ being ‘perfect’ is impossible!

The appearance of perfection is only what the mind has constructed as perfect based on the only reality it has seen.

The puzzle of this though, is that this “reality” you are trying to achieve is very often based on what another person (or people) have insinuated what is right or good enough.  But very often this is an over expectation or something that is unobtainable or over hyped expectation! 

Who set your standards?

As children, the we form a map and therefore reality of the world is based upon the standards set by the people we see around us.  

If those standards are within our reach and allow us to grow in a healthy way then all is good. But as we know the world is very often not like that. 

How many of us were subject to a disapproving eye, told that we need to try harder, that we let people down, we are lazy and that the capabilities we have are simply not good enough?

To hear disappointment from an adult or parent when we are trying our best can be emotionally crippling. But how many people who have not come to terms with some form of ‘disappointment in others’ are still trying to achieve this unobtainable standard??

Perfection is an unobtainable standard created by another person from our past that we could not live up to or achieve!

Hence ‘perfection’ is a state based upon a selection of pre-defined conditions. Those pre-defined conditions will then become a prison because once perfection is gained the seeker then becomes fearful of losing that state!

Therefore their ‘state’ owns them…. traps them, imprisons them! Anything less than perfect is not acceptable if it is based upon external values.

Should those values change or unable to be attained for some reason then the state of perfection (and therefor their happiness) is taken away leaving the person chasing ‘another perfection’

How to be happy with what you have

Becoming the best you can be is about growth ‘not’ perfection! Life is about learning to be in the moment and experience things. Very often people want to be perfect based on what they think other people will think of them or living up to another persons expectations. 

Whenever you do anything in the future ask yourself these question…

1. What am I really aiming to achieve by doing this?

2. Do I feel I need to be the best…and if so why?

3. Am I trying to live up to another persons standards to gain their approval? 

4. If I am…why do I want their approval so much?

5. What would happen if I did well but wasn’t perfect? How would I feel?

6. Could I just be in the moment and let what happens happen?


In life, it is vitally important to realise what it is you are doing and why you are doing it!

Do you ever work yourself into the ground trying to achieve an unrealistic expectation? Or do you find that you have set your own standards so high that you feel anxiety about being anything less?

Break eggs? Make an omelette!

Sometimes we can create a noose around our own neck by trying to achieve perfection when really that perfection may simply be an anxiety of not being good enough in our own eyes and therefore potentially risking rejection. Though anybody who would reject somebody for not ‘being perfect’ is somebody who is continually judging themselves with the same stick. 

Perfectionism is not success. Success is growth and learning…perfection is anxiety based! 

If you ever feel the need to be perfect stop for a moment and ask yourself why!